New Grounds

  I want to start making games again. That makes it sound like I used to make games, I didn't, but I used to want to. I'm already making no sense. Congratulations, Meta, you set a new record.

  I always get a feeling of not wanting to encroach on territory that is not my own. For example, I am a writer. When I studied to be a game developer, I thought I could break into new grounds. It didn't really go to plan. I think the reason for that is that learning in a classroom environment is especially tedious. And it doesn't help when lecturers aren't exactly... accommodating.

  At first I would tell them I didn't understand certain things, but after receiving aggressive backlash consisting of, 'you're not trying!' or, 'you're not working hard enough!', I stopped. I gave up, and rather than using my own initiative, I would simply waste away my time. In retrospect, not my finest moment. But when the spark is repeatedly snuffed out, it's difficult to re-ignite.

  Not wanting to enter unfamiliar fields comes from my unwillingness to fail, like most people I assume. So, it's taken me a while, over two years to be exact, but I think I'm sort of back on the creative wagon. Maybe. I mean, I'm not entirely sure, but since starting this blog I've turned a few small ideas into text adventures via Twine. I find that the tedium of coding in the link passages is soothing.

  My mindless scribbles at ridiculous hours in the morning gain weight. At that point, they mightn't mean anything to anybody else, but they mean something to me. Even if nobody ever figures out what exactly that something is.

  http://philome.la/cosplaysaint/would-you-jump

  http://philome.la/cosplaysaint/searching-for

Signed,
Elijah.
Meta Sentience.
12/07/2017