I'm relieving myself right now. The laptop is burning my legs as I pee. Sure, I could've quickly used the loo, washed my hands and then come back to the comfort of the sofa to write this, but there is no time. My thought train likes to leave the station early sometimes, so the pink burn marks from my ten-year-old laptop are worth it.
I keep skipping work. I keep skipping writing. I keep skipping responsibilities and simple tasks like showering, (yes, I'm that guy). I keep skipping. Not the kind with the rope, that might actually do me some good. But I'm skipping out on so much lately and doing so little, I really need to sort myself out. So this is it. This week I am going back to work no matter how run-down I feel. I need it. Without my job, I lack so much stability and that can be really debilitating.
My stomach is now rumbling, but food can wait. I'm going to post this on Tuesday, and on Tuesday, I'm going to write a post for Friday. From there, we will see how things go. If I could just get into the swing of things again, I think both you and I could really benefit.
Signed,
Elijah.
Meta Sentience.
Friday 8 March 2019
Two Birds, One Prison
I think if there is anyone out there in that big open space, watching out for me and making things happen, he did me a solid this week. He really went out of his way and I am so thankful. Obviously, I know better than to believe in some magic dude in the clouds, but maybe things happen for a reason.
I lost two friends around the same kind of time two years ago. They both just stopped responding to my messages and I was left questioning where they had gone or what I had done. The first, I am now back in contact with and happier than ever, the second is in prison and serving six years. Which was fucking news to me? Both getting back in contact with Jake and finding out Alex is sitting in a HMP somewhere happened on the same day. I can’t help but think this is some weird coincidence because it’s just... spooky. Try telling me that ain’t spooky.
Let's not focus on the latter, because let's be honest it's depressing as fuck and I'm still having a hard time processing everything to do with it. There are so many tiny details spinning raucously in my head and I just need it to stop now.
But like... I got my boy back. My closest friend during that period of my life, after Alex and I left college, disappeared without a single trace and now he's just... back? I can't describe how weird it is to wake up and know he's there. Only a message or a bus ride away. There's something endlessly comforting about that, and about him. I love him so much, from his dumb jokes to his deadpan face. Jake is everything I could ever want or need in a friend, and being without him wasn't easy. I thought about him often. Aaaand now I'm stuck with him, so. Careful what you wish for innit. ;)
Signed,
Elijah.
Meta Sentience.
08/03/2019
I lost two friends around the same kind of time two years ago. They both just stopped responding to my messages and I was left questioning where they had gone or what I had done. The first, I am now back in contact with and happier than ever, the second is in prison and serving six years. Which was fucking news to me? Both getting back in contact with Jake and finding out Alex is sitting in a HMP somewhere happened on the same day. I can’t help but think this is some weird coincidence because it’s just... spooky. Try telling me that ain’t spooky.
Let's not focus on the latter, because let's be honest it's depressing as fuck and I'm still having a hard time processing everything to do with it. There are so many tiny details spinning raucously in my head and I just need it to stop now.
But like... I got my boy back. My closest friend during that period of my life, after Alex and I left college, disappeared without a single trace and now he's just... back? I can't describe how weird it is to wake up and know he's there. Only a message or a bus ride away. There's something endlessly comforting about that, and about him. I love him so much, from his dumb jokes to his deadpan face. Jake is everything I could ever want or need in a friend, and being without him wasn't easy. I thought about him often. Aaaand now I'm stuck with him, so. Careful what you wish for innit. ;)
Signed,
Elijah.
Meta Sentience.
08/03/2019
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