As a general rule, I can't stand birthdays. Yes, yes I know. 'Oh, poor Meta! Whiny little bitch boy hates the one day of the year where everybody is nice to him!' Shut up, okay? I'm introverted as it is and a birthday means everybody feeling obligated to see and speak to you when they otherwise wouldn't remember you exist.
I've received an influx of Facebook wall posts from people I don't even speak to. I know that sounds unappreciative, but I don't even know who some of them are. I have over 200 people on my friend list and I speak to about four on the regular. They're not fooling anyone either. I know Mark Zuckerburg whips out his government ID and sends notifications to inform everybody.
Do you know what I asked for on my birthday? Hm? Go on, have a guess before you read ahead... a blender. Allow me to repeat myself - a blender. I've gotten to the age when I'm asking for kitchen appliances, and I'm going to take pleasure in eviscerating all the fruit and ice I can find. Will it blend? Let's find out.
Regardless of that, I had a surprisingly decent day and I suppose that's all anybody could ask for. I'm now going to waste the rest of my night on Skyrim and being the lame old man that doesn't drink on his special day. Have a great rest of the week, everyone, and I'll see you all on Friday.
Signed,
Elijah.
Meta Sentience.
17/10/2017
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