Wednesday 18 April 2018

Self-Preservation

  I didn’t know what to write yesterday, and I still don’t. I wish I was capable of coming up with something witty and brilliant twice every week but sometimes staring at a blank page is exhausting. I’m writing this now and my eyes are stinging. I must be some kind of masochist... that or the fact that I’m a serial daytime-napper is preventing me sleeping at night time. I’ve never had much of a sleep schedule, I just sleep when I’m tired - one of my key issues that I’ve promised to work on time and time again... but never do. Finding the time to work on myself is hard, so I often end up spiralling... and that’s okay. When the spinning stops, I can take a moment to reflect. That’s always helpful.

  I don’t like writing about my problems in case it looks like I’m simply pandering. I’m not, I hate when people do the ‘oh woe is me’ thing. It’s impossible to know exactly the right way to respond to that, meaning most people don’t. But on the other hand I think it’s healthy that I’m writing this. I recognise that something is broken and needs to be worked on, it’s just a case of finding out exactly what that is. Maybe I’ll go to sleep now, try to rest up and hopefully write something decent on Friday.

  Thank you for being patient with me.

Signed,
Elijah.
Meta Sentience.
19/04/2018

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