Lately it feels as though my subconscious is trying to taunt me - specifically my dreams. I used to be friends with somebody very special and we fell apart, (personal reasons), but now I'm dreaming about that person multiple times a week. It's either about reconnecting, or going over the last time we spoke which... wasn't great. but... then I wake up and remember that I'm no longer in contact with that person, and it sucks.
I've seen them in real life since what happened, but I haven't had the courage to actually go over and try to sort things out. Anxiety is a stickler for something like that, and as many talking points there are in my head, things I'd like to say, my mouth would never allow them to come out coherently. And so... that's the only reason I haven't. I suppose it could be seen as cowardly, but it's difficult not knowing what would make them listen, or even if they want me to try to fix the situation at all.
It's been two years and every day my hope dwindles a little further. The only thing that gets me by is knowing I still have wonderful people around me - but being aware of what's happened in the past makes me all the more terrified of losing people.
Signed,
Elijah.
Meta Sentience.
14/04/2018
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